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THE ROLE OF PARENTS IN APPLYING DISCIPLINE TO CHILDREN.

 

There are parents who do not know how to educate their children other than the language of violence. On the other hand, there are also parents who are too lenient in educating their children, loose and giving freedom. Very few parents can choose an intermediate path between the types. Rarely are parents able to strike a balance between violence and tenderness. 

 

Violence, which is used as the only method of education, can cause psychological pressure and beating on the psyche and mentality of the child. Children who are usually trained hard will be people who are always afraid, worried, stuttering, insecure, afraid to face failure, always hesitant in making decisions and also easily angry. These symptoms arise from feelings of revenge and emotional outlet for what they have experienced as a child by their parents without understanding their mistakes first. 

 

But on the other hand, a way too lenient in educating children and giving excessive freedom to the limit by spoiling the child and indulging all his desires will cause badness in the child's personal formation. Children who are always spoiled will find it difficult to be independent.

Therefore we need to apply discipline to children. Discipline is very important for child development. With all the rules, values, order, habits, norms and proper behavior, children will feel safer and more certain because they know which actions are allowed and which are not. 

 

Discipline is one very important aspect. Discipline must be instilled in the child as early as possible. And in this era of globalization, self-discipline is very necessary so that children are not carried away by the flow of change. Undisciplined encourages fights, quarrels, fights and drifts into change. Parents have an important role to play in laying the foundation of children's discipline. The family is one of the first educational institutions for the development of duties and responsibilities. 

 

Disciplined children have self-order based on religion, values, culture, morals, social rules, life views and life attitudes that are meaningful for themselves, society, nation and state. Parents are required to instill and develop children's discipline in their relationship with God, fellow humans, the natural environment and other living things based on values, norms and morals. 

 

Discipline is not the same as punishment. The aim of instilling discipline is essentially to foster learning to control yourself and the actions of each individual to be responsible. The family should be able to maintain the atmosphere of a home that is loving, honing each other, and nurturing each other. Thus it is necessary to have a position and responsibility from parents. Because parents are obliged to lay the foundations of self-discipline in their children, and together with the school and the community, self-discipline is developed.

 

Parents have a role in helping children develop self-discipline in factual and essential realities in life because it is a whole. Thus the responsibility and trust of parents felt by children will be the basis for imitation and self-identification for behavior. 

 

Child self-discipline is a product of discipline. Discipline ownership requires a learning process. At the beginning of the learning process it is necessary to have the role of parents. This can be done by training, getting used to behaving in accordance with values ​​based on moral references. If the child has been trained and accustomed to behaving in accordance with moral values, parental control is needed to develop it. 

 

At elementary school age, parents need more help and control because they do not know how to play with large groups. In addition, they cannot afford without help so parents need to create various structures needed to organize their activities. For some older children, the effort is more in the form of developing self-discipline standards. 

 

Discipline issues are a concern for every coach, be it parents, teachers, to elements of the government. All coaches expect that every child has discipline. Personal discipline can increase persistence and increase the likelihood of children being creative and achieving. To achieve a disciplined attitude, many ways have been taken. Humans use threats, frighten, embarrassment and so on. This method can lead to disciplined behavior, even though it can be classified as pseudo discipline.

Pseudo-discipline is a discipline that is accompanied by an unhealthy spirit, discipline that is accompanied by feelings of discouragement, low self-esteem, uncertainty, palpitations, insecurity and so on. Methods of arousing discipline in this way often lead to feelings of displeasure in children, as if the children are rebelling or resisting. 

There are various views on the issue of discipline, there are different views of discipline that are still based on old views and some are based on new views. The old view of discipline argues that to discipline children parents try to prevent the desired behavior. Parents with the old pattern state a prohibition when both parties, in the case of being involved, the parent and child are angry. Words from parents are often heartbreaking, not worth the real problem. Discipline is often taught to children at the wrong times, namely when the child cannot listen to advice, instructions because the child is emotional. Conversely, the new view of discipline is to help children in terms of feelings and actions. Parents allow their children to express their hearts and feelings. But parents still prevent and limit children's actions that are unwanted or directed properly. 

The prohibitions and restrictions put forward by parents are not arbitrary, but with the aim of educating, developing and shaping the child's personality. With this new pattern discipline, it is hoped that the child's personal initiative will flourish, an atmosphere of discipline is fostered effectively.

With a new discipline pattern, it can make children realize that freely, children must change and control the bad aspects of their behavior. Thus, the discipline offered and imposed by the parents will gradually become a discipline that is embedded in the heart of the child. 

 

The process of educating children requires parents to maintain their attitude calmly and kindly, but firmly. In responding to indiscipline or disobedience of children, parents should not talk too much and also do not shower children with various arguments about the appropriateness of prohibitions, because this will lead to clashes or total war between children and parents.